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SALE: Two For One
13:30, 2008-Nov-26
We don't know about you, but we love it when we find something on sale or for a bargain. Like how, when you go to the hardware store to buy a box of nails and they might have a sign out that says, "Buy One, Get One Free." Don't you love that? Well, imagine that you set out to get yourself some pussy and when you are about to make your purchase, said pussy tells you that you can get a whole other pussy with this deal for the same price. Sounds like a bargain, right? Twice the blow jobs, twice the pussy, and four titties instead of just two, all for the same low price. It's a deal too good to beat. Or, it's a deal too good not to beat your meat.
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Slammed in the Subway
13:30, 2008-Nov-19
Commuting to and fro on public transportation sucks. Let's face it, you are cramped into small spaces with less-than-pleasant smelling folks and you are forced to listen to their babble and their complaints while you pray that the next stop is yours so you can get off and be freed from your transport prison. And no matter what you do, the total suck-factor of commuting this way will not improve. While we cannot make your transit experience better, what if we suggested that you get to bone a busty, anal-loving whore the minute you got off the subway? What if you could get off, and then, get off in a tight asshole right after? Sounds plenty good, huh? Well, while we can't promise that this will become implemented in subways all over the USA, what we can say is that it happens, so have faith. You check out this hooker getting porked in an empty subway terminal and we will start working on recruiting more working girls to give up their ass tunnels in the subway tunnels. Enjoy!
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Door-to-Door Knockers
13:30, 2008-Nov-12
Why do we like hookers? Because hookers are good for the world. That's right. We are here to tell you that by hiring a hooker you are actually doing your country and your cock a service. How? We will explain. Check out hooker Brandy Talore. She is so convenient that she comes right to your house to service you in the comfort of your own home. (She is like a small-business owner and you are supporting that.) The only thing you have to do is find your favorite spot and fuck her right then and there.(And you are technically taking her off the streets, decreasing homelessness.) And there is no awkward morning-after because once you have pumped and humped her, you can kick her right out, right then and there. And no worries, she will survive just fine without you. Because not only did you take her off the streets for some brief moments of comfort, but you also gave her money for her work, so you employed her. (A double bonus: you are contributing to the economy and decreasing unemployment.) She will clean herself up and go on to the next cock, just like that. Why? Because hookers are reusable, and somehow, some way that has got to be good for the environment, right? (It's like recycling.) So do something right for a change. Fuck a hooker. It's the humanitarian thing to do.
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Jugs In Jail
13:30, 2008-Nov-5
No matter how unfair it seems, sometimes hookers get busted and hauled off to jail. We know, it just doesn't make sense, considering the public service they provide. But it happens, regardless. But if a hooker is street smart and stacked, she can be in and out of jail in no time. Just check out Sarah Sunshine. She knows that the only ace in the hole that she has is her ability to drain a cock in no time flat, so she used that to her advantage, offering the officer on duty her hooker booty. And who could say no to a thorough cock-sucking and tight pussy? Some people have a get-out-of-jail-free card, and some people, like Sarah, have a get-out-of-jail-free cunt.
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Bangin' Boobs in Blue
13:30, 2008-Oct-29
Trust us when we say that we know what it's like to be cranky, frustrated and in need of some stress-relief. Sometimes a guy's gotta go blow off some steam, you know, take it easy and just relax. And there are three or so ways of doing this. The first is a little miracle we like to call BEER. Except if you spend too much time with beer, you wind up with a headache and a gut. The second is a great invention called SPORTS. Except you can lose time, effort and even some cash on sports and it usually goes hand in hand with beer. The last is the best way of all; PUSSY. Pussy is a great way to blow off steam and even your wad. The thing is, pussy isn't always available, attainable or even around. Not to worry. That's why hookers were invented. Hookers are like the Chinese food of pussy; quick, reliable, always available via delivery, not so hard on the budget and after you have a lot of it, you can always have just a little more. Don't believe it? Check out Soleil Hughes' and her hookertastic performance in this video. She shows up, fucks, get paid and goes. It's perfect. So next time you are a little bit stressed and need some relief, just put your dick in a hooker, they always hit the spot!
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Tits of Tomorrow
13:30, 2008-Oct-22
In the year 2060, you will no longer have to go out on the hunt for tits and cunt. Why? Because in the year 2060, the hookers come and find you. Isn't that nice? So imagine you are minding your own business and you suddenly have the urge for a sloppy blowjob and some experienced poontang. All you have to do is put out the alert and the hooker closest to you will come and lay it down. It's kind of like when you need a plumber or a handyman and you call one in for a service call, except a hooker of the future will service your cock. Watch Carly, a pretty blonde hooker, fuck and suck this guy like it's no big deal. We can't wait until the day this fantasy becomes reality. It's a nice thing to imagine when thinking about the future. Puts a spin on the idea of cumming attractions.
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Always Bet on STACKED
13:30, 2008-Oct-15
It should be obvious by now that chicks like dudes with money, man. They gravitate to big wallets... well... like you gravitate to big tits. When a chick sees a guy who has enough dough to keep her in a comfortable fashion she gets the equivalent of a boner. And that chick boner will lead her to give up anything and everything to be a rich dude's main squeeze. For example, our big-boobed gal here, Summer Sinn, is not very interested in this average Joe until she realizes that he has the big bucks. Then she is willing to bend over backwards to accommodate his needs. They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas and in this case, what happens in Vegas is that Summer fucks and sucks this guy until he blows his wad on her tits. The lessons we learn here is ALWAYS bet on stacked, because big titted bitches will always put out for dough and that money can't buy you happiness, but it will buy you a big-tit hooker, and that is almost as good.
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Ass on the Ave
13:30, 2008-Oct-8
We live in a world of convenience and we like what we want, when we want it. For example, when you want a nice, juicy burger, you can just pull in to your local drive-thru and order it. If you want to pick up some prescriptions, you can just mosey on over to your local pharmacy's drive-thru and get your meds. So why not incorporate that into how we get ass? How convenient would it be to just pull up to a corner nearby and order up some juicy cooze to go? That's exactly what this guy does. He pulls up to choco-licious Stacy Adams, working her wares on the ave, and he says, "I'd like some mocha poon to go, please. And a side of titties, too, super-sized. Thanks." And she jumps into his car and then on his cock in the motel a few minutes later. And when he is done with his quickie, he tells her to book and that's because just like fast-food containers, hookers like Stacy are disposable. Doesn't that sound quick and easy? You betcha. All hookers should be quick and easy.
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Lust In The Limo
13:30, 2008-Oct-1
Here is something almost unbelievable: Rich guys with millions of dollars need to hire hookers to get some action. (Yeah, cause the fact that they are rich just doesn't cut it with your average gold-digging slut. They have to pay for sex.) But, we are not going to argue with that since most chicks believe this to be true thanks to the magic of the movie "Pretty Woman". So in an effort to keep up that Cinderella-esque ideal that if a girl is pretty and charming enough, it overshadows the fact that she blows many, many cocks for money and a rich guy will save her from the streets. Let's pretend that Kianna Dior is a hooker with a heart of gold who merits some rescuing. Kianna comes across a rich guy who has a limo that he is willing to let her rest her tired tootsies in. (It's rough pounding the pavement and getting your pussy pounded, too.) So, being the overly grateful streetwalker that she is, Kianna decides to show him her gratitude with the only thing she has to offer a rich guy...her hooker pussy. Does he decide to whisk her away from all things hooker-like because of her prime, horny, pink clam and righteous cock-sucking skills? Hell, no! This isn't the movies. What he does do is promise her that he will be back next week for another romp in the limo with her. Hey, he didn't take her off the streets, but at least he is giving her a steady income, or rather cumming in her a lot.
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Bonin' at the Bach Bash
13:30, 2008-Sep-24
If you are a dude who has a best buddy, you are responsible for a few things. The first is lying for your buddy whenever he needs you to. If his ball and chain comes snoopin' around, you deny and lie until you die or at least get your friend on the phone to warn him. The second thing you are responsible for is breakin' your friends' balls at every opportunity. This is important as it builds character and is just plain funny. The last thing you are responsible for, and probably the most important thing of all, is getting your buddy some strippers for his bachelor party. And not just any run-of-the-mill-dancing-for-dollars stripper, either. Nope. You are responsible for getting him a hot slut who is going to drain his nuts of every last drop of his single-man baby batter. A slut like Holly Halston. This stripper takes it up her slutty snatch, in the mouth and most-importantly, up her tight ass.
So remember, when the time comes to do right by your best bud, give him the gift that keeps on giving. Give him a big-tit hooker.
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Red Light Rack
13:30, 2008-Sep-17
When you see Cassandra Calogera gyrating and grinding her hot body and mashing her big tits on the glass in the red light district of Pleasure Town, USA, you wonder why there aren't more of these districts around your neighborhood, right? Furthermore, you ask yourself, (or at least we did) why the fuck Sting & The Police sing and advise Roxanne to NOT "put on the red light"? We just don't get it. If she looked half as good as Cassandra does, we'd tell her to keep the red light on 24/7. This lucky dude actually gets past the glass and taps Cassandra's ass and ends up coating her chesticles in some man sauce. Obviously, he pays for her time, but who cares? It certainly seems like a wise purchase, and judging by the amount of nut cream this guy spills, he certainly seems to be a happy customer. We advise all busty bitches to put on the red light, take off their clothes and get on a cock, in that order.
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From The Corner To Your Cock
13:30, 2008-Sep-10
Even though this tatted teen got into the hooker game early, she's already got the attitude, big tits and deep-throating skills to give more experienced prostitutes a run for their money. Lavish's pussy and sex skills are top-notch, and she charges accordingly. "I got into the game 'cause I love money and I love dick, in that order. My name is Lavish because I like the finer things in life. Pay me well and you'll get the best fuck money can buy," revealed Lavish.
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Busty Business, Man
13:30, 2008-Sep-3
Sara Jay is the hardest-working hooker in ho business. She pounds the pavement looking for a man with the bucks to pound her cunt. And lo and behold! She bumps into this perverted businessman who is looking for a little bit of busty business, man. She approaches him and he starts trying to strike a bargain with Sara right away. Sara lets him know that he can't nickel and dime good pussy and hops into his car for their rendezvous in an abandoned garage. Not only does she lay that pussy and those tits on him, but she also talks to him about add-ons that will cost him only a little bit more but are guaranteed to give him pleasure. That's right, Sara Jay is a hooker with upgrades. For just a little more dough she gives an extra blow. For just a little more cash you can work that ass. These are a pair of perkies that come with perks.
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Nice & Easy Nympho
13:30, 2008-Aug-27
So you're driving along and you spot Rachel Love on the street and you see her tits. It becomes obvious to you that this chick has a whole lotta love to give, even if it means that you have to pay for it. And face it buddy, sometimes you do have to pay for it because nothing in this world cums free. But not to worry because Rachel yields a good return investment. When you pump money into the Rachel Love investment it means you can also pump your cock in her. Go figure. Rachel is nice AND easy. Watch as Rachel gets slammed for those dollars. And like any good hooker, she looks like she really enjoys her job.
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Busty Bitch Brothel
13:30, 2008-Aug-20
Welcome to Madame G's House of Boobs, a happy, little brothel where the chicks are busty and fuck heartily. When you come to the House of Boobs, you get the best boobs in the land, man. Madame G's a pimp with an eye for tit talent and she runs a tight ship. When one of her girls tries to get into the boob lineup by stuffing her bra, Madame G shuts her down by ripping her falsies out and sends her packing. So, when our John (who is apparently a baller of epic proportions and can spend lots o' bucks on busty fucks) comes to the House of Boobs with five grand to blow on a good roll in the hay, the only girl who will suffice is the cream of the crop, Alexis Silver. Alexis does her thing, giving him quite the masturbation show, giving him a glimpse at the goods he has just leased. Then she gives him a good blowing and tit-fucking right before she mounts him for the ride of his life. In the end, it's a great moment in purchasing history.
Cab ride to Madame G's: $18
Purchasing of a busty hooker: $5000
Blowing your load all over a pair of perfect, huge tits: Priceless.
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Tits You'll Leave Your Girl For
13:30, 2008-Aug-13
Okay, we're going to give you some harsh reality followed by some cruel truth. You ready? Here's the harsh reality: If you currently have a significant other, chances are that the sex is not as raunchy and nasty and all-around fucktastic as it was when said person was not your significant other. Here's the cruel truth: You're never going to have any kind of raunchy, nasty, fucktastic sex with your significant other like you would if you were with some new, skanky, all-around slutty bitch you just met. Its just science, man. New pussy is, well, new and exciting. Skanky, new pussy is even better. There's something about nailing a strange chick that can't be beat. Maybe it's the anticipation that she might be a complete, full-on fuck freak who is going to suck all the cum out of your balls. Or maybe it's the idea that she will do the things your chick won't. Whatever the reason, you all know that if you could fuck a hooker like Summer Sinn and not get caught by your girlfriend or wife, you would. This guy did. He kicked his Mrs. Right to the curb for a chance to fuck Ms. Priced Just Right. And who can blame him? Hopefully he didn't abandon his wifey permanently. Let's just hope for his sake that this was his one Get Into Pussy Free card and that his chick will take him back because chicks like Summer are like slot machines for your cock and loot...pump cream and your cash into her, but you'll get no love here, buddy.
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70s Funbag Flashback
13:30, 2008-Aug-6
Some things have changed since the 70s, and some haven't. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone sporting polyester or full-grown pubic hair these days. But big tits and cock-sucking whores are two things that will never go out of style. In this 70s funbag flashback, Sarah Sunshine works overtime to make her money, taking on double the dick and double the dollars. She's a girl from the wrong side of the tracks and she gets fucked like the cock-hungry whore she is??“with one prick in her pussy and the other in her mouth.
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There IS Sex in the Champagne Room
13:30, 2008-Jul-30
Ah, the strip club. Who doesn't love the strip club? Loud music, naked bitches, and good times abounding...it's like an adult amusement park. And this adult amusement park comes complete with adult beverages, food and all sorts of attractions. Apparently, there are also fun rides at this strip club, because for enough Benjamins, you can take a spin in Carmen Hayes' pussy. Yeah, those lying bastards who told you there was no sex in the champagne room apparently never rolled with enough cash to purchase prime ass like this. When you go to the club Carmen dances at, she gives you a great stage show and then she takes you back to the VIP room and gives you a great ho-blow. Carmen, in all her flexible glory, takes down cock like a champion. You know how they say that people who really love their jobs always do a great job? Well, we think Carmen found her true calling because not a lot of chicks look this happy shaking their asses for bucks and getting fucked, too. Carmen is all about two things: Greenbacks and lying on her back. Hey, we're not hating on her. Make that money, baby!
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Ass & Titties...Fuck Them Both!
13:30, 2008-Jul-23
Busty Holly Halston works the local hooker circuit in these hard economic times, and lately, Johns are not spending the dough that they used to on hos. Sometimes, with all these competitive hos around, in order to make enough money, girls like Holly have to fight bitches off! That's what Holly does when some hooker skank tries to cut in and take her John. This busty bitch needs the money and she knows that she with the biggest tits always gets the trick, so she puts her tits to the test, letting this customer feel her goods. When she wins the titty challenge she goes back to this guy's pad and gets her pussy and her ass fucked so hard, you might almost wince while you are watching it. (We said ALMOST.) And just a quick FYI...Holly's dirty-talk is almost as spectacular as her cock-milking skills. This hooker could talk the milk out of a cow, so she has no problem talking the cream out of your cock. When she cries out, "Fuck that little whore cunt hole!" you will thank us.
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Purchasing Pussy in Prague
13:30, 2008-Jul-16
In Prague, if a girl wants to make a living, she has to work hard and realize that it's going to take more than just a pretty face to get to the top. That's why Dominno is not relying on just her pretty face to get her to where she wants to be. Dominno is relying on the power of cock sucking and pussy popping to get her there, folks. And judging by her pretty pair of perkies, tight ass and perfect pink puss, we think Dominno is going places...right after she goes to the hotel with this trick she just picked up. You see, Dominno is not above selling her goodies off to the highest bidder, even if that means she has to suck and fuck the bidder till she extracts a wad of spooge from his nuts and a wad of cash from his pocket. Enjoy watching Dominno do her job. We did.
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